Sometimes it feels weird to be 26 and not sure who you are. On the outside it often looks like I have everything together, but I certainly have days when I question who I am and what I am doing. I wonder if this happens all throught out life or if when you're in your 30's you become more sure of it.
Last night I went out to the mall to try on some boots I had seen earlier in the week. I quite liked them and they were fairly comfortable. Now they weren't winter boots, but dressy boots. I thought where am I going to where these. I am a mom now. I go to the park everyday. I need to buy runners not dressy boots. Then that led to why don't I where perfume. I like the way perfume smells, why don't I where it. (I think I have been watching too much Oprah.) Then that led to, do I want to go back to work. I can't imagine leaving Lucas with someone else. Do I want to work evenings instead? And on and on, it's funny how one crazy thought can lead to another.
Today I am feeling much more clear and know why I don't buy 100$ dressy boots, wear perfume and why I will need a balance of work and child. I am a mom which is the best, I could go buy the boots, becuase I do other things then go to the park, but I don't really need them. I could buy perfume but don't really need it either.
Onto Lucas, sleep has not been easy the last 24ish hours. He woke at 5:45 this morning and has cried to go down both times today. He has been having great sleep for the last 5ish days so I guess one bad day isn't so bad.
Still flailing things around, still laughing and smiling lots. I'm finding he has also become less upset when putting his coat on and going in the car seat. I think he's learning it's inevitable. Yesterday we went shopping with Auntie Karen and the temperature went upto about 10 degrees or so. I took off his big winter coat and left him with just a blanket on, he quite enjoyed that. He was quite good, all through lunch and shopping. One thing I am noticing now is that he doesn't stay asleep when we go places. He may sleep in the car on the way there, but once were there he wakes right up and wants to see what going on. Another sign he is growing up. =)
K, well this message is getting to be long.