Friday, April 07, 2017

To Nathan on His 9th Birthday

Dear Awesome Nathan,

Today you turn 9 years old and you have been excited about it for a while now.  Mostly since getting home from Europe, but even a bit in the few months before.  Birthdays are quite fun at this age and we don't have any of your parties until next weekend, but it's a good week of celebrating.

I usually write you and Lucas letters on your birthday although while reviewing I don't think I did it last year.  But back on the saddle again this year.  This year was a pretty good one for both you and the family.  We did our big Europe trip which you did really awesome with and then there has been swimming lessons and camps and summer time fun.   You are at an age where you are really easy to get along with and also really enjoy the company of your family.  I'm lucky that you are such a great kid.

In all of our different activities you are a pretty easy going kid.  You'll have an opinion on something, but rarely is it a sticking point for you if we don't follow your opinion.  "Sure, I'll do that' is a Nathan phrase we hear a lot.  You are quite easy to get a long with.  This means you usually have lots of friends too.

You are quite a loving, trusting and affectionate person too.  You love to give hugs and snuggle.  You are trusting that if we ask you to do something you know it's usually not beyond your capabilities. You may balk at it for a moment, but if we encourage we usually get a 'Sure I'll do that".  You are willing to try different food and be more daring that way.  It'll be interesting to see if as you continue to grow how you feel about more challenging tasks.  


Matthew continues to be your best friend, but you play with lots of other kids too.  Sometimes even by yourself, which I may be momentarily concerned about, but you are 'totally fine' with it.   The kid who probably bothers you the most is your brother, which I'm sure all little brothers would say about their big brothers.  You love him, but he can drive you crazy like no one else can.

In school you enjoy your teacher.  You like math and gym and music.  You don't love reading in French, but will do it for me most nights we read together.  You prefer to read in english, so we work on that sometimes too.

You love you tube and videogames.  Soccer is your sport of choice, but you also enjoy skiing, swimming and basketball.


 Happy 9th Birthday my love.  I'm so so glad that you are part of our lives and you make me happy and smile every. single. day.

Love Mom.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Anticipation: London and Paris

Next week at this time I'll be waking up... in Paris!!

I have said something along these lines to the boys and Darryl and yoga instructors and my mother and about anyone who will listen.  I'm so excited.  This is one of my favourite parts, the anticipation of what is coming up.  It's like at a concert.  I love the few minutes before hand when you don't know what the first song will be.  When the lights go down and you know it's coming, it hasn't started yet, but there is such excitement in your chest.

I'm excited to see what the boys think, the Eiffel Tower is incredible.  And to be immersed in french. To see architecture that is so different then what we have here.  To eat delicious food.  To have little sandwich shops and bakeries all around.

I'm excited for them to see London, where people speak english, but it takes a bit to understand.  To be in a big city and see shows.  To go on the London Eye, see Big Ben, walk up St. Paul's Cathedral. To see things older then they have ever seen.  To go to museums (although only one in each city) and churches (again only one in each city)  But such beautiful things.

If there is something you highly recommend please let us know.

And this is it till April now!!  When I'll be able to post pictures and stories from our amazing adventure.


Thursday, March 09, 2017


These last few months have been pretty challenging for me.  While I mostly post happy and funny things, and if we are being realistic I live a very sweet life, but in reality of my happy and sweet life the last 6 months have been really challenging.  I think last week in frustration I said I'm failing at all aspects in life.  

But struggling with work, struggling with where I fit in and belong.

Struggling with balance.  Working full time is a lot. When do I have time to get things done.

Struggling with what marriage looks like after 2 kids and 15 years of being together.

Struggling with boys who love to do what their dad does, but I'm not always sure how to fit in with them.

Struggling with finding time for myself at the expense of others feelings.

Struggling that in so many environments I don't get to be me.  I'm focused on making a good impression, learning, not stepping on toes.  I miss being me.

Struggling with closing doors on jobs that I have been doing for many years.

Now I know very few people read this, and I don't say this for your pity or comments.  But to record it. Too look back and know life is not all roses and trips and ponies.   Life is the good times and the bad times.  Learning to live with being uncomfortable. Knowing its a period of growth, at least I hope.   Blogging it knowing I can look back in the good times and remember the hard times that made the good times feel so good.


Monday, February 27, 2017

We Were in Mexico

Last week at this time I was talking to my best friend.  Which may seem like nothing,  I talk to her all the time.  But were we sitting in Mexico, maybe at dinner, maybe in our room after dinner.  And we had spent the last 4 days talking and eating, swimming and drinking.  But the highlight of it all was the music.  Music that we both love so much and it makes us so happy.

Thursday we headed from Calgary off to Mexico.   On the flight down we didn't get to sit together cause I forgot to my passport to check in at work the day before.  Somehow though I managed to secure a great seat, the exit row, with no seat in front of me.  That may have been a problem, as my tv was very far away, but as I just had laser eye surgery in October, it was no problem at all.

When we got off the flight, we were ushered on a bus and it left right away!  There were 5 or 6 buses lined up, but the bus we were on left as soon as we got on it.  It's like they were waiting for us.  When we got on they were playing the Avetts too.

The resort check in was easy, although Tammy missed a soccer goal and 'lost a BMW'.  Our room was very 'centrally located'.  Which was the selling point, but also very loud.  We had the concerts in our room if we didn't want to go outside.  Generally it was lovely, though, roomy and all the amenities.  That night we got to eat steak, drink mojitos and listen to our favourite band.  We sat is awe of it all.  Lucky that we were there.

The rest of the weekend shaped up pretty much the same.  Beautiful sunshine, more drinks, reading and talking.  There was a waterslide, yoga class, hibachi grill, tequila and concerts.  Many amazing concerts.  Brandi Carlisle was fantastic!  She is a great singer live, you appreciate it more then on her albums.  As Tammy, or Crystal would say "Stop it'.  It was all just so so good.

What a great trip.  Nice to reconnect with my best friend.  Nice to relax and have fun.  Dance and jump till my feet hurt.  Sing my heart out till I almost lost my voice.  Cry when it was almost over.  Cry to hear songs live that mean so much in my regular life.

Thanks to Darryl for giving his blessing for me to go and for having a great weekend with our boys.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Classic Auntie Karen

On Friday Auntie Karen was hanging out with the boys while I was a work.

I texted that I was on my way home.  

Her response

"OK Do you know where the balloons are?"

=)  I knew they must be doing something fun.  Something that would require balloons.


Saturday, January 28, 2017

January 2017

Well the resolution was to try and post twice a month, so as January is coming to a close I thought it would be a good opportunity to reflect on the month.   This month has becoming a lot of intentional reconnecting.  I had some great dinners with my family and friends who I only get to see once a year. Finished a course, put work into starting a new one,

I finished one of my Athabasca courses, which I was happy about completing.  It taught me about some of the buzz words around management and leadership as that is where I find myself immersed in now.  I also submitted my application for my masters graduate program, which is both exciting and scary.   This year moving to working full time has been a large transition for me as I work to find some balance in my life.  But I'm slowly getting there.  Work has been a month of learning, which I am grateful for.  I have been struggling with my new role, but I see some real positives with the new boss we have.  He is different then any other boss I've had a really visionary and leader, rather then a manager and while that is a transition for me I feel like I have a lot to learn from it.   Learning about who to trust and when, how to make people feel important and heard and how to look at the big picture, rather then day to day.

Home here has been pretty fun as well.  We had a week with no devices, which was quite successful. Darryl suggested it one Thursday night and most of us jumped right in.  Nathan wasn't sure about it, but he did really well too.  It was fun to have a week of play and togetherness and hopefully it will help to balance the rest of the month with learning there are things other then screens.  Generally I feel like we are pretty good as a family with the balance, but it's good to experiment.

My dad retired this month and it was his birthday.  I'm really happy and proud of him.  I have been leaning on him more over the last month with the kids and editing my writing and grateful for his help in both of those cases.  Nice when space opens up for different things.

Darryl and I also spent lots of time this month talking and supporting each other.  I'm grateful for his support as I learn to navigate this job as well as finding a balance in my life with the increasing demands.

Till next time



Sunday, January 01, 2017

2016 and 17 Resolutions

Well its the yearly blog post to see how I did at last years resolutions and make some new ones for this year. 2016 was not my favourite. Although I did some fun things, overall in the world and in my world it was not the greatest.

Update for 2016 Resolutions

Be more present with my kids. To make this goal a little easier to qualify and see if I accomplish it my plan is to take the family to a non chain restaurant where we get to try new food once a month.

This goal I did pretty well with this year. Although not a total check mark, but all in all we did some really fun things together as a family and I feel like we connected more as a family too. I did better at engaging with the kids for activities, but also stopped feeling bad about not being engaged with them all the time. All in all I think family was my highlight of a more difficult year. I feel like I'm doing a good job as a mom and day to day having Darryl and the kids around keep me happy and sane and feeling loved.
With Darryl I would like to plan more date nights. I have a great husband and person to spend my life with. He's a great dad and partner, but it's easy to get caught in the mundane of everyday life. I would like to make more effort to do reconnect and do things together.

I would say this is a no for me and something I need to keep working on for 2017. More fun with Darryl! As the kids are getting older they can be by themselves for a bit while Darryl and I reconnect. As I said last year we often get caught up in the mundane of everyday life or we have spent years dividing and conquering parenting that we need to remember what it is to spend time together and not divided.
I have been doing a regular yoga practice for a couple of years now so I want to continue with that. Maybe work on doing more practicing at home. Although I do love my studio.

Continue to love and practice yoga. Doing it at home a bit more, but love to practice anywhere. I practiced at Soul 192 times last year, so I want to keep that up. 
We have a trip to Hawaii planned for this year and I'm heading to Halifax for a work conference, probably going to Kelowna this year too and maybe something else in the summer. Plus it's Darryl's 40th birthday and our 15 year anniversary, so hopefully something fun for that.

Trips this year went pretty well, there just was not enough of them. And Darryl's birthday was probably the most memorable with the new car. We had a great day on his birthday and like I said earlier my family continues to keep me happy and sane

Resolutions for 2017

  1. Focus on the positive.  I am so grateful for the life I lead and I found this year I thought about what I was missing rather then what I had.   Generally I think of myself as a really positive person, but it slipped away a bit on me this year.  I'd like to get back to that mindset this year.  I think there is a balance between being content with where you are at and striving to get better.  Still looking to find that balance.  
  2. Blog more. 2 times a month. 
  3. We have some pretty great trips planned this year, it's going to be a good year for creating those memories. Looking forward to that!
  4. Stop being so hard on myself, especially when it comes to work. Give myself time to learn. It's hard having come from being excellent at a job to having to learn everything again, but give myself time to get there. 
  5. In yoga I'd like to get better at wheel and handstand.
  6. Continue to cultivate all of the good practices in my life. Continue to embrace opportunities. Embrace fun times with my kids and my family. Continue to do awesome stuff with Darryl. Keep practicing yoga. Drinking tea with Tammy. Smiling at strangers. Having good conversations with my mother. Overall I think I'm pretty good at this, I love life and love to do fun things. I want to keep embracing all of those opportunities that come my way. I'm hoping to start working on my masters this year. Which will be a lot of work, but again what a great opportunity to complete it.
Till next time