Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Real World

Today Lucas and I were playing at a park. There were a bunch of kids there probably 5 and under and they ran into the field, Lucas wanted to run with them. I didn't have a problem with him making new friends and running with new kids. So off they ran. I was standing back so I didn't see all of the next events, but the kids were playing with some sticks. At one point Lucas ran over to grab one of the sticks and one of the older kids was running towards it as well. Lucas got there first and bent down to grab it. The older kid then went to kick the stick and instead kicked Lucas in the side of the head. The kid then grabs the stick and runs away. Of course Lucas screamed and sobbed. I ran over and consoled Lucas. Poor kid, generally he is probably quite sheltered that way and if we are ever somewhere and there are a lot of kids he'll shy away from the situation. I felt so lost in what to do in the situation. Part of me wants to strangle the older kid for kicking my son, even if it was an accident stop and apologize. Part of me wants to strangle the kids mother, where is she to teach her child to not be a bully.

What is the right thing to do in the situation? Do you yell at the kid, cause that was my instinct. Would the mother get mad? It's not really my responsiblity to disipline other children, but where is the mother to do her job? I felt so protective over my son, Mama Bear wanted to roar. As Lucas gets older I find this happening more often. Am I being to over protective becasue this is my first time going through this? (As we were driving home after this incident, I did think, could I home school my children)

Luckily I got to spend the evening pondering all these questions while looking into these eyes.

Till Tomorrow.



beth - total mom haircut said...

This is something I grapple with all. the .time. UI hate being put in this situation by other moms not tending to their kids. If the mom is not even around? I speak to the child, if nothing else for the benefit of Sam seeing that it is not ok. I don't want him to see the kid act that way with absolutely no ramification. If the mom is around, I usually do a long stare until she gets it together. If she still does nothing, I speak very loudly to Sam about how the child should not have acted that way and say we will go play somewhere else because we don't play with children who are mean. A bit passive aggressive I suppose, but I freakin hat that!

Our Home Schooler and Jen said...

Jenn I wouldnt be able to stop myself I would have yelled at that boy and then wondered about the consequences

Quite a while ago now Our Little Man was at McDs and a slightly older boy hit my baby boy on the face. I got down at the level of the boy and told him that was bad and told him to say sori. He told me he was going to tell his mother!!
I was ready to defend myself verbally and I was fuming. The mother never came. The boy returned and watched him like a hawk.

Im sori your time at the park was spoilt. Hope Lucas is ok.


Our Home Schooler and Jen said...

NB I would have yelled because you say hes run off


Jenna said...

I think you did the right thing. It's hard. I've been there. And, seriously, evertime I am in this situation, the mother never comes. Where is she???? Obviously not disciplining her child that needs some discipline.

Allie said...

wow. I agree with you, I would want to pummel the little bugger!

In all seriousness though, I have been in situations like this and have stepped in and parented the other child. Gentle yet stern reprimands to make them aware of what their wrongs were. And then, if the Mom were to contradict me, then I would explain to her what had happened. Luckily, I have never encountered a Mom who had disagreed ..... but I know that the day will come and it might not bode so well for all of us. :)

It is sad no? Kaelen is at that age too where I feel the need to shelter him from all of the senseless things that kids do. I watch him playing with the kids in the neighborhood that are older than him and cringe, run out and hold onto him. He sees so much and most of it isn't good. Sigh ... perhaps I could make him the boy in the plastic bubble ...

sari said...

I agree with Allie. I have been in that situation before - we were at a play area and a boy punched my son in the face. I went right over to him to have a talking to him and his grandmother (who was with him and NOT watching him) came up and tried to give me a hard time. I explained to her exactly what had happened and told her she had better watch her grandson or I'd report them and they would have to leave.

I was not mean about it but stern - I felt like my son needed to know I'd be there to make sure things were right for him and that was important to me.