Tuesday, June 12, 2007

My Worries as a Parent

Today Lucas and I had our last day of swim and gym. It has been a great class for us and there has only been 3 kids who go so it's a nice small class. We lingered around the pool and the building for a while. The building is kind of cool because there is a YMCA, library and a highschool. While lingering around we saw some of the high school students. Lucas and I watched a scene happen and it made me worried about Lucas becoming a teenager. So it's 10:45 in the morning and there are about 8 kids who get out of a Mercedes Benz. Another kid runs up to the car and asks if they all got high. No, says one of the girls. But really what was going on in that car??? The kids are swearing and then the driver pulls away. One of the kids runs after the car and then hops on the back for a ride. It just seemed so immature and I was worried about what those kids were doing in the car.

I definitely worry about Lucas becoming a teenager. I think a lot of what kids do depends on their friends, and I can't really pick there friends. The other thing is what do you let your kids do and what you give them. Can they have a computer in their room? TV? Do they get a car? Am i going to spoil him, or is it just keeping up with the time. I love him so much at the age he is now. He's sweet, he's innocent. He says "love mommy" and gives me a hug. Teenagers are so hormonal. I didn't do anything really bad as a teenager, how am I going to deal with it if Lucas does bad things? How do you balance wanting your kids to talk to you about anything but still being their parent? I just don't want Lucas to lose his innocence, which I know he will but I just want him to keep it as long as possible. I also want to be a good parent to him when he is a teenager. I want to teach him good values now and help to guide him when he gets older.

Does anyone else worry about this? Anyone who has teenagers have any advice??

Till Tomorrow

Jenn

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Worry? Oh my God...yes! I worry every day about Mackenzie's teen years!
Mac is 12 1/2 years old. We keep her on a short leash partly because she's our only child so there haven't been any older siblings to pave the way for her and partly because kids are growing up WAY TOO FAST!
Mackenzie is just starting to enjoy some freedom in our neighbourhood hanging out with her friends. I always send a cell phone with her as a lifeline in case there's a problem. She thinks it's a leash.
Just last night we both learned a valuable lesson. She was hanging out with her friends and they ended up at the house of a friend of her friend. She didn't know this kid. She was uncomfortable but was trying to play it cool. One thing leads to another and she gets tossed into the pool, clothes and all. The parents didn't pay any attention. She begged her other friend to walk her home because she thought we'd be mad if she called us for a ride.
Long story short...I guess I hadn't thought to tell her that I will drop everything and come and get her NO QUESTIONS ASKED if she's ever in a situation that she's not comfortable with. You know...kind of like the designated driver pact only there's no alcohol yet (thank GOD!).
Needless to say, she now knows that she should trust her gut when it comes to situations with her friends and she knows we will back her up 100% anytime she needs to use us to get out of a situation she's not comfortable with.

Thankfully, this was a minor incident and we all learned something good from it.

This has been a long post but I couldn't help myself. Jenn and Darryl, as Lucas ages you will learn as you go and both you and Lucas will learn to adapt to the changes that come with growing up. You'll do fine!

Love,
Lori

Anonymous said...

i dont allow computers in bedrooms
I monitor what Billy watches on Tv hes a preteen 11 almost 12

i know what you mean about Lucas staying like he is now I have been wishing for this for Daniel too recently

billy went through a bit of lying recently we dealt with it

but alas our little ones cant stay little forever

love your kids and be there for them as much as you can

Allie said...

I worry about what kind of parent I will be when my kids get older. I am really close to my aunt whose kids are 12 & 14 now and just watching what they are going through makes me a little nervous. And if that doesn't make me nervous, then all you have to do is like you said; hit a local hang out or high school and that is enough to scare anyone.

Just the other day I was walking with the kids and a group of teenagers were farting around. They were so loud with their excessive swearing, talking about drugs and sex and disrespecting people's property by picking flowers out of flower beds or tip toeing in little yard fish ponds. My son was scared of the kids, especially when they all caught my disapproving stare and started yelling that I had cute kids. I felt the need to parent them but didn't. I was young once too, but I honestly don't think that I was wild like that. My goal is to ensure that the lines of communication remain open with my children forever. That may be a naive goal, but it is one that I am committed to achieving.

Anonymous said...

You are building the blocks now. They say the most important years are the first five and so far you and D. have done an amazing job.
Love Mom & Dad

Anonymous said...

I go with the flow and surprisingly I don't worry at all. In the future I want to be a good mom who listens and will give advice but that's all I can do..