Dance For the People

30

Well today Lucas cried when I left him at he day home this morning. I gave him a quick kiss and left quickly. I wentto my car and cried even more then he did. It's so hard to cause your kids pain. I wanted to take him back home and play the day away. Of course I shut the door and he had stoped by the time I was in my car. But man oh man it was hard. Lesley has obviously dealt with it before because she took him and got him settled quickly.

I continue to miss him alot during the day. It's worse when I have to be around children, but I am lucky that my schedule is flexible so I still fell I get to spend most time with him. I also am having trouble finding things to blog about with Lucas because I'm not with him as much.

He is defintly at a very cute age. People love him. When we go shopping they take in all his cuteness. When we play at the show home they take in all his cuteness. He is not to shy, but still loves his mom the most. Today he was flirting with a pregnant lady and I'm sure it made her excited for her baby to come. He even spilt some water on a man in a restaurant (only a little, most of the water went on me). But once Lucas shined his pearly whites the guy couldn't be mad. Although I did buy his coffee.

Today is Darryl's 30th birthday. Happy Birthday Love! I love you dearly!

Till Tommorrow

Jenn

There's Something in The Air

Well know that I am back at work, I am having trouble not blogging about work. I of course do not want to get in trouble over work blogging, so I struggle a bit. Here are some happy things:

One of the greatest things about working for a school is that you get to start fresh every September. New students, new pencils, new classes, new possibilites. The vibe at school is great right now. Students are eager and not stressed. They ask great questions with bright eyes. The sun is shining, people are playing frisbee in the field and newness is in the air.

Till Tommorrow, and a longer blog

Jenn

New Things

Yeah it's Friday and I can blog in the middle of the afternoon, while having some down time and Lucas is sleeping. I and many people often say you don't really appricaite something until you don't have it anymore. I always knew staying home was great, but now that I don't get to do it everyday I appricate the days with my boy even more.

The week has been good. If anything just weird. I really like my job and being back to it is fun. Lucas also has a great time at his dayhome and Lesley goes above and beyond for the kids. The weird part is not spending all day with him. For a whole year I spent 12 hours a day (or sometimes in the night) with Lucas. Now's it's 3 or 4. I miss him alot during the day, I can totally see why people stay home with thier kids.





This week at dayhome Lucas was introduced to a bouncy jumper. I'm assuming he loved it because now he loves to pretend he's in a bouncy jumper all the time. He is usually safe about it. For example he loves to do it on the spare bed. Stand up, fall back and giggle like crazy. Today he was doing it on the couch, in his tent and on the leather chair as well. It's amazing to see that innocent trust in kids.

The other thing he is doing lately that is so funny, is bobbing his head side to side when music comes on. It doesn't make him laugh, but it really makes me laugh. He totally knows music, and likes to move to it.

Till Tommorrow

Jenn

I'm Going To Be In Pictures

For years Darryl and I lived with peasant vision. It was great, we never really needed cable, we had Global, CTV and City. That's all a girl really needs, espeically when working full time. Next thing we know Lucas is born and while all a girl is doing is breastfeeding and sleeping, she needs something to watch while breast feeding. After watching every season and every episode of Sex in the City, I turned towards peasant vision. The problem was at 10am the shows I had to select from were: 100 Huntly Street, Maury Pauvich and a repeat etalk daily, which I had probably seen while breast feeding the night before. So Darryl and I took the plunge and got satelite TV. It is great, although I know I could go back to living without it, it is a nice perk to have.

The first month of satelite TV we had the station Tech TV for free. Darryl being the techy he is, loved it. Mostly it annoys me, except for one show http://callforhelptv.com/. It is a show where Leo Laporte and Amber McArther they give you tips on enhancing your computer and the tools most people use. They also give great and helpful websites. They also answer viewers calls. Sometimes if there is no Friends or Rockstar Supernova I will tune into Call for Help myself.

The next part of the story takes a turn. I use to be a big scrapbooker. But have kind of stoped it now that I do the blog. The pictures aren't as decorative on the blog but I always liked the writing in the scrapbook better then making it too fancy. Although it was great to have pretty pictures, I felt it was more important to know and remember what those pictures were about. The blog takes care of all of that, and it is much faster. The problem is I am dependant of blogger keeping all my information, and I don't really like that. I would like a permenant copy of it somewhere. So I've been investigating how to get the blog printed. The problem is I can't find anything. That's where Call for Help comes in.

A couple of weeks ago I went to the Call For Help Website to investigate if they had some answers. When I didn't find any I thought I'd ask the question. Yesterday they called from the TV show and Leo wants to anser my question on air. So next week they will call here and I will go on the web cam and ask Leo my question. I'll let everyone know when it will air. Cool eh?

Till Tommorrow

Jenn

Constant Commentary

My sister and I often tease my mom because she is always pointing things out to us. We call it her constant commentary. She doesn't want us to miss a thing.

Today I found myself turning into my mother as Lucas and I were driving home.

"Lucas look at the plane"

"Do you see the front end loader"

"Lucas do you the the bird"

Ahh.... what motherhood will do to you.

Till Tommorrow

Jenn

Tunnel

Grandma and Pop got Lucas a tunnel for his birthday and him (and Emma are loving it).
He loves to take his cars in there and play peek-a-boo with it. We play with it inside, outside. Wherever. Enjoy him enjoying the tunnel...



Till Tommorrow

Jenn

Birthday Boy

Well we had an eventful weekend with our birthday boy. On Saturday we had family and some of Lucas's little friends (or the little people we chose as his friends) for lunch and some birthday cake. It was fairly low key and not to long as all little people need naps. It was fun and Lucas enjoyed all of his gifts. I loved the cute clothes he got, but continue to be amazed that he will ever fit into those clothes.





Saturday night we went to the Japanese Village for dinner, which was fun, although they really rushed us. It's one of the pitfalls of having young children. Dinner reservations have to be early because of bed times. But the early you are at a restuarnt the more eager they are to kick you out and get on to the next person. Japanese Village is a teppan table, where they do a little show and cook the food in front of you. Lucas was quite intrigued by all the banging of knives.



Today I returned to work (after woring a shift yesterday evening at the hospital) so I am tired and I missed my boy. But wonderfully I get to be home with him tommorrow. Yeah for flexibility and part time.

Till Tommorrow

Jenn

Sunshine, Smiles, Blog and A Sad Story

It's amazing how sunshine can give you a new perspective on things. I had been feeling quite frustrated, so I decided a trip to the zoo would do Lucas and I some good. I came home feeling so much better. Although part of the zoo trip was sad. There was a new baby gorilla who was born a couple of weeks ago. It had died just last night. I don't know the whole story of why the gorilla died, but I did overhear one of the handlers saying the mother gorilla had lost some of her confidence as a mother. I guess not only is it hard for human mothers in the beginning, it's hard for gorilla mommies too. There was only one gorilla out andthey were asking everyone to be quiet while the gorilla's mourned the loss of their baby. I shed some tears for that poor mom and baby.

But this was suppose to be a happy post. Lucas enjoyed the zoo as well. We bought a plate of fresh fruit and shared it for lunch. He loved the pineapple, but wasn't too fond of the watermelon. On the way home I was attempting to keep him from falling asleep, so I would reach back and grab his foot. He would give me such big smiles. Makes me so happy I don't have to go back to work full time. Glad that I'll still have time with my boy to see those smiles.

I was thinking that I need to change the title of this blog. If anyone has any good ideas that would be great. I would love your suggestions. Also I don't know how consistent I will be in the coming months with blogs. I do have to return to work and won't have Lucas's afternoon nap time to blog. I defintly plan on keeping up the blog, it just may not be everyday.

Till Monday (or maybe Tuesday)

Jenn

Monthly Newsletter- Month Twelve

Dear Lucas,

At this very moment a year ago you had just been born. You were a good baby even when you arrived. You didnt cry much and ate quickly. That first night you slept as well as could be expected for someone who had just been through the most tramatizing time of your life.



In the past year you have changed my world in so many wonderful and wierd ways. I am not the same person I was before. Although there are many similarites, you have changed me. I've become more adaptable, able to work on less sleep and more creative. Most of all I've learned to love more and know what is really important in life. Even now as I write this, I am so emtional. You have made me feel things more deeply then I did before.




This past month you have been cruising along. Not alot of huge milestones, but slowly learning new words and new signs. Your favorite song of the moment is "Little Rabbit Foo Foo" and you love to make the sign of a rabbit. You also still love anything with wheels. Your Aunt Lori bought you a fire truck book for your birthday and you were wild over it. Grandma and Pop also came by this evening after your bath and gave you a tunnel for your birthday. You loved it and laughed alot.

We turned your car seat around earlier this week, and both you and I love it. You love the better view of cars and I love that I can see you easier. You go crazy for the steering wheel and I may have to get you one of your own.

It is amazing to watch you become your own little person. I'm glad to see you are easy going like your Grampie was. You little to sit back and observe before jumping in. When I take you to play gym it takes you a couple of minutes to watch everything that is going on before you are ready to jump in. You are also like your dad (and maybe your mom) in that you like to make people laugh. Now when you hear people laughing at something you will scrunch up your face and laugh with them. When we ask you if you are funny you do the same thing. Things seem way funnier now that you are here to laugh at them.

Well Lucas we have made it. There were times in the first couple of weeks I wasn't sure what I had gotten myself into. But we have made it. Yeah for us. I know it wasn't always easy at times, but I'm sure I'll remember the bad times more then you will. But I hope I have given you a good first year, and I promise they'll only get better.

Love you, I love you so so much.

mommy

Birth

Well tomorrow I am going to write the 12 month newsletter to Lucas so I thought I would write the story of his birth tonight. It was just a year ago at this very time that I was having contractions and breathing through them. Of course we had had a few evenings like this, so we weren't really sure if it was another false alarm. I spent most of the evening trying to do things to get more comfortable. Bouncing on a ball, having a shower, laying in bed in different positions. I remember the beginning as beening tough, but not really unbearable at first. It was until about 2 in the morning that I suggested to Darryl we head into the hospital. When we got to the hospital we went up to the birthing ward and put us into a "holding room" because all the labor rooms were full. The nurse check and I was 4 cm dilated. The rest of the night and into the morning the contractions started to get worse, but not full flegded yet. The nurse suggested putting a damp cloth on the forehead and controlled breathing while the contractions were coming to. I didn't want narcotics as I had heard people having bad experiences with them. They did bring over the laughing gas, not sure if that helped or not. But it did work to keep my mind focused on trying to breathe it in rather then the pain of the contractions. I had another shower in the hospital while Darryl sat on the floor outside the shower. After about 5 hours of being in the holding area they moved us to a birthing room and we called my mom. I also remember Mom bringing Darryl Tim Hortons for breakfast.

We got into the birthing room at about 7am and the anatheiologist was in at about 7:30 to give the epidural. Darryl had to leave for the needle, but mom was there to hold my hand. By 8am I was feeling quite comfortable and was able to sleep a little for the marathon that lay ahead. The room also had a pull out couch for Darryl to nap on. I also remember Mom and Darryl doing sudoku's. The craze had just started. Most of the day went well. I continued to dilate and listening to heartbeat of the baby. Darryl and Mom had to tell me when I was having a contraction on the monitor. Mom and Darryl had breakfast down in the cafeteria, although breakfast did not sit well with Darryl. I also remember the nursing staff being wonderful. We also had an intern who came into check. Tammy also stopped in because she was working downstairs. The did put me on a pitocin drip to regulate the contractions so they were coming at regular intervals. Dr. Greyvenstien did stop in first thing in the morning to break my water. I remember they didn't have the usual instrument he was use to so they had to use a kelly clamp. Again most of the day went well. We were all told to rest.

At about 4pm I was 10 cm dilated and ready to push. Since it had been such a busy day they were women who were more ready and Dr. Greyvenstien wasn't there yet, so they had me wait while they delivered another baby first. At about 5:30 I was ready to start pushing. They have both of your feet up on a bar and you are pulling on a wrapped bedsheet with my hands. I would get a contraction while Darryl counted to 10. I would take another breathe and push again for Darryl's count to 10. One more breathe and one more push to the count of 10, then pause till the next contraction. I remember the nurses, Darryl and my mom all acting like cheerleaders. "you can do it" You're doing a great job". I also remember being so focused on the pushing it was almost like I was in a bubble and although I could hear them it was fuzzy and not as loud as I thought it would be. Darryl kept feeding me ice chips and I would chew on them between contractions. I remember at one point in the pushing, Dr. Greyvenstien was there and he said your getting closer" I remember saying it can't be that close because you don't have your gloves on yet. At another point a little further along they asked if I wanted to see the baby's head. At first I was turned off by the idea, but after 2 hours of pushing I needed something to keep me going so I asked to see it. I was kind of disappointed by the fact that Lucas's head wasn't further out and the end was still a bit away.

Lucas had been in the birth canal for a while so they called in the pink team just incase there was a problem with his breathing when he came out.

"warning* The next paragraph may be too much information for some of you.

With Lucas being in the birth canal for so long they needed to get him out. I hadn't teared yet. Dr. Greyvenstien gave us the option of continuing to push and possibly having a bad tear or him giving me an episiotomy, which would not be as large of a cut. He recommended the episiotomy and he had already frozen the area if that's what I wanted. Although I had done lots of reading and research that recommended against episiotomy I wanted that baby out. I was exhausted and I knew it would be safer for the baby to come out sooner, so we went with the episiotomy.

Lucas was born at 8:13 pm. He did not cry a lot when he came out. He measured 21 cm and weighed 9 pounds 2 ounces. As soon as he came out Mom announced to us we had a son. Darryl couldn't look at him without crying for the next hour. I remember being just exhausted after 2 1/2 hours of pushing, and I had to keep my legs up to get cleaned up. During the prenatal courses that Darryl and I took they talked a lot about skin to skin contact immediately after the baby was born. We insisted on that and enjoyed holding my new baby so close. He also latched on and nursing a little bit. Mom went down to fetch me a coke that I had been craving for hours and hours. I did not feel as emotional as Darryl did after Lucas was born. I was happy it was all over but probably too tired and traumatized to feel too much else. About a half and hour they got me up to have a shower. It felt good to get cleaned up.

Lucas and I were rolled down the hallway and I was lucky enough to get him a private room. Lucas stayed in the room with me all night. Darryl needed to get home because he had been up as long as I had. But we knew we needed to name him before he left. As many have you have already read in another blog entry we chose the name Lucas, because he didn't look like a Nathaniel and we both love Great Big Sea and their song Lukey's boat. Darryl went home and I think I feel asleep quite quickly. Lucas did sleep the first night waking a couple of times, while I tried to learn how to breast feed. Also the nurse came in and showed me how to swaddle, which Darryl became and expert at in the weeks following.

Birth was not a fun experience. It really hurts, but what you get after it's done makes it all worth it.

Till tomorrow and the 12 month newsletter.

Jenn

Birthday Party

I am preparing for Lucas's bithday party on Saturday and one of the things I forgot was "loot bags". I totally forgot about these bags from when I was a child. I have had quite alot of fun preparing and buying things for them. I went over to the dollar store, where everything is really one dollar. I was fun to pick out cute toys I think each of Lucas's "friends" would like.

It is interesting to think that in a couple of years Lucas really will have friends. Right now I win the prize for Lucas's best friend. I will take that prize for as long as I can get it. The other day I was watching Ellen and Vince Vaughn was her guest. He said his mom was his best friend. I thought it was so sweet. Jennifer Aniston, maybe you should marry that guy.

I'm also starting to really prepare for work. Students are back next week so it will be in full swing then. It's nice to have that back in my life. Not that I've got parenting down pat, but it's not as hard as it was in the first months. I am so grateful for having a year off. So so grateful. It has been the best year of my life. Tommorrow my little boy turns one. I'm so lucky to have had the time off with him. Maybe I'll e-mail the governement and thank them. People often complain about politics, but I think we are pretty lucky. Although I am an optimist.

Till Tommorrow

Jenn

The Time of our Lives

Today Lucas, Emma and I went to the offleash. I threw the ball in the water for Emma to swim out and get while Lucas and I sat on the rocks. He would watch Emma or another dog who would walk by. He would say "gog", which is his baby talk for dog. He would point out planes as they flew over head. He would pick up stones and toss them into the water. It was such a beautiful day out and we were all so happy. It's so nice to be so happy.

Till Tommorrow

Jenn

Googlable

Yeah!! I submitted this website to google a couple of months ago. Not sure when they added me. But if you go to google and type in jenn and lucas. It's comes up with this website. Go ahead try it... www.google.com

Yeah!!!

Jenn

Cuteness

Yesterday Auntie Karen and I went to IKEA to check out the new catolgue. We had some meatballs for lunch while Lucas played with some of their toys. He enjoyed finding and pointing out all the car and firetrucks he could. He would yell in a very loud voice ca-ca-ca-ca. Aunite Karen asked me "Did you ever think he would be this cute?, I mean you knew he was a cute baby, but did you ever think he would be this cute?"

Here are some demonstrations of cuteness




Till Tommorrow

Jenn

Beach and Planes

Yesterday Tammy and I headed out to Sylvan Lake. It is about and hour and a half NW or Calgary. The weather was not the best and I forgot my camera. But we did have a great time. The boys had fun playing in all the sand and Matt even went in the water. Tammy brought a picnic lunch and I taught the kids to chase after seagulls (much to Tammy's dismay)

One of the interesting things about having a child is that you get to discover the world through their eyes all over again. I know it's such a cliche, but it's true. I am becoming much more aware of things I never payed attention to before. One of Lucas's new fascinations is with planes. Whenever he hears one overhead he looks up to find it and then makes the sign for plane. Of course as the mother in me grows I now point out planes. If I see one, I'll call for him and point to it. As a non mother I never really noticed planes, unless they were especially loud or I was traveling on one. Now I notice them all the time. There are planes overhead all day. Yesterday I took Emma to a field to throw the ball for her and heard a plane. In my non mother days I probably wouldn't have noticed it. I would have been too wrapped up in my own thoughts. But as I was out with Emma I missed having my little boy (who was in bed sleeping) to oint out the plane too. Also in my new mother life I wondering if one day my boy would be a pilot....... It is one of the best things about becoming a mom, rediscovering the world, and paying more attention to planes.

Till Tommorrow

Jenn

08.08

Well it's amazing to think last year at this time I was waiting for the arrival of our baby. For 9 (almost 10 months) you have a date in your head. For us the date was August the 8th. I loved that date. It was easy to remember and I told it to everyone. Of course last year August 8th came and went. I do remember having some Braxton Hicks on this date, but no baby. I had lots of Braxton Hicks. Every couple of nights for the last two weeks of my pregnancy I would get contractions and we would think it was time for the baby to be on it's way. Then they would fade off and we'd go to bed. I'd use 5 extra pillows to get comfortable and pee three times in the night. But it took a while for Lucas to come. Also after my due date I started to anything I heard to to make the baby come. Castor oil, ate a fresh pineapple everyday, walked and walked and walked (even tried running once). I had egglant parmesan, drank raspberry tea, had lots of sex. But nothing worked. Lucas has been a pretty easy going baby, and he was pretty easy going about coming into the world too.

9 more days till he is one.

Till Tommorrow

Jenn

Snow In August

Last night we had the craziest hail storm ever. When it was done the lawns and streets were white. It was Christmas in August (with ot the presents or cold).

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Have a great long weekend

Jenn

Progress

Although everything continues to go well with Lucas. I still miss him dearly. Does that ever stop? Do you miss your kids when they go off to Grade 9?



I slept really soundly last night. No crazy dreams like I had been having.

Till Tommorrow

Jenn

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Well there is no really ugly, mostly good and a little bit of adjusting.

Both Lucas and I had a great day, neither of us cried =). Darryl dropped Lucas off at his dayhome, while I was at work 15 minutes early. Funny how you can be so prepared the first day. Hopefully tommorrow I'm not 15 minutes late.

Lucas ate and played and totally enjoyed his day. When I came in the door at the end of the day, he saw me, showed his pearly whites, shook his legs with excitment, then went back to playing with the cars. We had a great evening, and as Lesley had predicted he went to bed so well. Here are some pictures that Lesley took during the day of Lucas. How did I get so lucky to find a dayhome that takes pictures! Thanks Lesley they are awesome.





My day was also good. It was nice to care for patients again. Although I've cared for Lucas for a year, you don't get the same kind of thanks from your children as you do from total strangers. It was good to problem solve and to be around most of my co-workers again. I also had a very busy day, which helped to pass the time. I am quite pooped now, and did not take any pictures of myself.

The bad is that my time with Lucas is over already. There is defintly some adjusting needed. It's weird how you bring a person into the world, then slowly you spend less and less time with them. I can only imagine how crazy it is for stay at home mom's who send there kids to kindergarten for the first time. I went upstairs to watch him sleep for a while. Man oh man I love that kid.

I guess the ugly, was all the ugly stuff I saw today. Of course I can't mention it becuase of patient confidentialy, but boy people can really hurt themselves.

Till Tommorrow

Jenn