Darryl has been a very happy camper over the last week. Our house has been a revolving door of his friends from Ontario. When I say that it sounds like I'm annoyed, but really I'm not. I love having people stay at our house. But those details are a whole other post. It's interesting because both of these friends were not very interested in getting married or having kids, when we were all teenagers and early twenties. That seemed fairly normal to me as most teenage boys are not interested in babies. I think as you get older and your life changes many people decide to get married and have children.
One of the friends who stayed with us broke up with his long time girlfriend (5 year long relationship) and met a new girl. Within a short period of time they are engaged and they are he is excited about the propect of having children. The second friend of Darryl's has been in a relationship for a couple of years and no plans to marry or have children. So my questioning and line of thought goes to this..... are some people just not meant to have children or have they just not met the person they want to have children with? Or is it both?
I have a couple of girlfriends who this has happened to. When we were in highschool they were not interested in kids. Never knew if they would have them but once they were in relationships with their current husbands they knew they wanted to have children with this person. In my life it seems like a fairly common thing.
I always knew I wanted to have children. I wouldn't have married or dated someone for any length of time if they were totally against having children. As I re-read this post I don't mean to sound judgemental, I'm just wondering what others opionins are on the topic. What about you Dad, before you met me, did you want to have children? Lori what about Ian, did he always want children?
Anyway something to ponder on a Monday (or Tuesday or another day, depending on when you read it.)
Till Tomorrow
Jenn
6 comments:
All I have ever wanted to do with my life is be a wife and have babies. I just don't get it when people are uninterested in having children.
I asked Ian. He's always loved the thought of having kids. He never had much exposure to babies when he was younger but he had great fun playing with his cousins and babysitting the 3 boys across the street from him. His Mom also babysat other little kids for many years as he was growing up so there were always little ones around.
He said he never would have considered marriage with someone who didn't want kids. He said there's no point in tying yourself down unless you're in it for the long haul. That's not to say that there aren't couples who are childless and happily married for their entire adult lives but for Ian, marriage means family.
By the way, good timing. Today is our 13 year wedding anniversary! Woo hoo!
Lori (and Ian...proofreading over my shoulder)
P.S. Ian was delighted at being referenced in a blog entry!!!
My man always wanted kids but didnt think he could due to diabetes
Daniel proved him wrong LOL
I firmly believe some people shouldnt have children. Abusers shouldnt have children.
I think you need to feel physically and emotionally and on relationship level ready to have children. Since that can change during the course of life, some people can change their mind about having children?
I also know men that did not want children in a previous relationship and now they do want them.... more maturity when they grow older? having met the right partner? ...what made them change their mind? Who will tell huh.
I always wanted to get married and have kids. So did my husband.
I just thought it would happen a little earlier, but I am thankful it did happen.
As for dating someone who did not want kids, I never did, but I have to say that would be a deal breaker for me.
I am one of those people when growing up that always thought of my future as being single and independent. I would date men and if they got too serious or started talking about children, I would run.
It is weird as soon as I met my husband, I knew that I would be with him for a very long time. And after dating my husband for a couple of years, I realized that I wanted to have children with this man. I wanted to create a special miracle with him and to watch this special little being grow in our love.
I basically came full circle and am so very thankful to have done so. Experiencing being a parent is so much more fulfilling than hearing others talk about it.
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