Monday, January 05, 2009


Well we have entered a new stage in this household. One where Nathan is on the move. One where whatever toy one child is playing with the other one wants. We are back to Lucas having daily time outs because he doesn't have the skills to work with Nathan.

Today Lucas was playing with a Little People Castle, Nathan came over and Lucas started panicking. I told Lucas to either play with something else or he'll have to deal with Nathan playing with the same toy he did. He kept up with not wanting Nathan to play with it. Nathan of course used it to stand up and eventually Lucas's pushed him. Nathan fell flat on his back and started crying. Lucas went for an immediate time out for pushing. At the end of his 3 minutes, he was still mad at Nathan. He did not want to apologize and give him a hug. He would have rather spent more time on the timeout step then apologize to Nathan. It was such a kid thing. An adult would apologize and not really mean it, but kids can't... Anyway he watched Nathan and I playing, he eventually came around and hugged his brother and and hour later he was loving his brother again.

Another example is Nathan was using the bicycle and turning the pedals. As soon as Lucas saw it he wanted to ride the bike.

So for all of you parenting experts, how do you handle the sibling wars? Whoever is playing with the toy first gets it? Should they have to share? How long does this last for? Will they ever become best buddies?

Till Tomorrow



Anonymous said...

Sorry, no help from me, but I laughed and laughed at your entry today. Perhaps opposite sexes were different, but I'm sure if you asked Lori, she could recall some tricks she used on Darryl.
Anyhow, loved the entry today.
Good luck, Love from Grammy

Allie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Allie said...

Geesh ... this is a tough one. I think the challenge is finding what works best for you and your dynamics. That or else you need to ensure that you have a bottle of aspirin (or wine) ready to help you get through those tough days.

With my kids, we are pretty lucky for the most part and don't have many of those issues (yet). Kaelen is really patient with Masyn when she becomes "Mrs. Grabby Hands" and explains to her (usually in a irritated, condescending tone) that he had it first and that she can have the toy in five minutes. However, add the daycare kids into the fold and well, each day it is different. If the emphasis on sharing and taking turns with the toy doesn't work, then the toy is the one that goes in a permanent time out for the remainder of the day (and sometimes week). Masyn is always in everyone's face and she has gotten lucky because she is the youngest, the only girl and all of the kids seem tolerant of her. And when they aren't, she is usually the aggressor and they are the ones in tears.

It is so hard because the younger ones are so curious and just want to be part of the big kid fun. Add into the factor that the big kid is usually their sibling and well, there is the desire be a part of their fun or attention. And yet the older child is busy doing something for themselves only for it to be interupted by the younger one - who they were trying to get a break from in the first place.

I guess somehow it all works out for the most part because I still love my sister despite a few of the antics she pulled on me when she was my children's ages.

Goofball said...

I was 8 years younger than my sister (well I still am, I suppose)....she was wise enough not to fight with me over toys ;)