Friday, May 02, 2008

Testing Twos

It has been an interesting adjustment to be home with both kids. Yesterday seemed to go great. We went to the library, all had a nap in the afternoon, Of course there was some fussing, but at the normal times, when Lucas or Nathan was hungry or tired.

Today on the other hand was a bit of a different story. It felt like all morning I was telling Lucas, don't do that, or say it nicely, or I don't understand you when you're whining. Which is alot for me, as I am not the displinarian, Darryl is. But there are certain things I don't like and I stand firm on. One of those is Lucas sucking on Nathan's soothers. Two reasons, I think it's unsanitary and I worry that Lucas will want one again. Lucas knows this as he has tried it a couple of time before, and I always tell him no. This morning, every time he found a soother (3 times), he'd put it in his mouth and come show me and say he was the baby. I would then tell him I don't like it and he can pretend to be a baby, but only "pretend" to put the soother in his mouth. Although by the third time he did it I was yelling. Then every time I'd feed Nathan, he would get in his face, lay on the pillow and distract the eater. I can see now why many parents don't breastfeed the second as long as the first. Having the older one around is too distracting for the younger one. Again I would ask Lucas to go get me something, or go play with _______. But he wanted to touch Nathan's head, or get in his face or lay on the pillow. I'm glad that he loves his little brother and loves to play with him anytime I put him on the floor or in his chair, but it's hard for both Nathan and I when Lucas is distracting Nathan from eating.

Part way through the day I put Nathan in his bassinet to sleep and had some one on one time with Lucas, which really seemed to help. Ahh this is what they call the terrible twos.

So I wonder was it me today, did I have less patience or are kids more testing on different days? Also when can I expect Lucas to do things a little more independently. Like when I ask Lucas to find his shoes to go outside and he plays with his cars and I get upset. Is that a reasonable requests of a 2 1/2 year old? Or am I expecting too much. Things to ponder.

Till Tomorrow



Our Home Schooler and Jen said...

Jenn when you request Lucas do something get down on his level and tell him make sure hes looking at you in the face

follow up and make sure hes done as asked

if he hasnt get him to tell you what he was suppose to be doing

if he still doesnt do it
take him by the hand and get him to do it

i feel for you
so hard being a mommy sometimes
and sounds like hes still adjusting to the fact that he doesnt have your full attention anymore

consistency is the key
which is hard when theres 2 or more to look after

maybe you could spend some one on one with Lucas before you feed Nathan

maybe a favourite dvd might help

praying for you
itll get better

Allie said...

Personally, I think that it is a phase. Having Nathan there is still a new situation that Lucas is getting used to. Kaelen still goofs around with Masyn's pacifier and pretends that he is a baby. But it is to make us all laugh and then he is done. I can understand why you would get frustrated about Lucas following simple directions but wow ... I still struggle with that with Kaelen and he will be 4 in September!! Every one has an off day so perhaps Lucas is having a few of those of late.

I remember though being distinctly upset and commenting to my husband and girlfriend that I felt that I was always yelling or reprimanding Kaelen. But he was just testing me so it was important that I was consistent with what I was asking him.

Good luck, but honestly Jenn, I think that it is a phase and you guys will make it through it just fine.

Lori said...


I don't have the experience of having a second child but getting down to Mackenzie's level and looking her in the eye always worked well with her. Additionally, I have her repeat the instructions back to me so that I know it hasn't gone in one ear and out the other. She's 13 now and I still make her repeat instructions back!

Keep up the great work. I know you feel like you're floundering on some days but you are an absolutely outstanding mother. Lucas and Nathan are blessed to have you and my heart always swells with pride when I read some of these entries and how well you and Darryl handle the various situations that family life throws at you.

Love ya!

beth - total mom haircut said...

It's totally not you. It's normal for him to want to pretend to be the baby and test his new role as the older child. It's all new, and he has to just figure out how this whole thing is going to work. And soon he'll look forward to those times he can be the big boy, like getting his shoes. Don't worry.

Anonymous said...

Now you know why Bill Cosby says your not a parent until you have the second child and it is a new learning experience all over for everyone.
Lucas is new in his new role and a little confused too. He is a great kid but his new role is asking him to not be a kid in the family all the time anymore. The role of the oldest. You will work throught it. Hard to laugh at this when your tired. Laugh at it some day you will. Patience is the key. Remember as smart as he is he does not learn things immediately. He must think about them a little first. Just make sure the rules don't change and he will get it. This is not really the terrible twos. I don't see him actually being disobediant in your descriptions. In the terrible twos they know it's wrong, you know they know it's wrong and they do it anyway to test you. And they do it all the time. They can even look at you while they are doing it as if they are saying you need to change this rule as I am going to do it. Don't think you have seen this and may never. Keep smiling. :)