Sunday, April 13, 2008

Since I Have Both Hands To Type, here's a post

So this blog may be a little boring for some of you for the next month. There will be nothing insightful or anything to make you ponder life. It will mostly be a recording of what I do and how I feel in this first month. It's all a blur from when Lucas was born so I'd like to do a better job of recording it this time. Also I'm sure as I go back and read this I will be able to tell my emotions are all over the map.

So far in this first week the mornings have been good. It's amazing how I can have a different perspective after getting some sleep. Evenings are the worst. I have gone into Lucas's room once he's sleeping and tears have fallen down my cheeks thinking about how much easier it is to have a 2 year old compared to a newborn.

Breastfeeding is going well now, but in the first couple of days it was really hard. I wasn't latching him properly and my nipples were all cracked. But I went to see a lactation consultant who was excellent. It is going much better now, for anyone who reads this who may be having trouble nursing I would recommend trying the football hold. It has really helped me to bring Nathan to me rather then me to him.

Darryl and I have also found a sleeping routine that seems to be working for us. Darryl takes the first "shift". We are sleeping with him in his nursery/guest room. The bed there is up against the wall so to put him, between us and the bed I feel safe about. We can also have a good chair for nursing up there. I am able to do the rest of the night, with Nathan eating every 2 hours and then we are able to sleep for an hour and a half before doing it all again.

We were at the doctors today worried about his umbilical cord, but everything is a-okay. It's not infected. He also has quite the bum rash. If anyone has any good advice about bum rashes I'd love to hear it. We had been using Penaten cream, but that didn't seem to be helping, so someone suggested cornstarch, which does seem to have dried it up a bit. We are heading to the doctor again tomorrow morning for our one week check up so I'm hoping the doctor will have some insight for us.

My milk came in much quicker this time. I remember last time it seemed to take forever. The thing that I forgot about is how my breast react to different things. If Nathan is crying they start leaking or even if I feel really upset or happy about something they starting leaking. The other day mom had made us dinner and at some point both of my parents looked at Nathan with love in their eyes and my breast start leaking. Breast pads have become my good friends. =).

I am feeling like not a very good mother to Lucas. So much of my time is now being taken with feedings of Nathan that I'm not about to spend as much time with Lucas and when we do spend time together it's limited by having to go feed. I know this will get better as feeds are bigger and further between. And when I can feed and do something else at the same time. But for the moment I've lost time with my little boy. He has moved from a mommy's boy to a daddy's boy. When he does ask for mommy to do something it makes my heart jump a little. When he tells me to go back inside or back upstairs it makes my heart sink a little. I know none of this is on purpose to help or hurt my feelings, just a boy being a boy. But I do miss the relationship we had.

I hope you are all doing well. I'm keeping up with everyone's blogs, although probably not commenting because of the one handed typing.

Till Tomorrow, or the next opportunity.



Our Home Schooler and Jen said...

so pleased you went and saw a lactation consultant they are wonderful

I promise you things will get better I always hate the first couple of months then things start getting better

bum rash - I swear by zinc and caster oil cream


Jenna said...

Hang in there. It sounds like things are going ok.

As for the rash, we have used neosporin before, but I don't think I would recommend that for a newborn. I think A&D works very well. Not the cream, but the clear ointment.

Your time with Lucas will become more, but I really know how you are feeling. It's definitely hard at first, but you will find balance. And remember, you should switch off children time to time so that each of you gets time with each child...

I'm thinking about you...

Goofball said...

oh if this will become a boring blog, then I off. Thanks for warning me


Hihi penaten cream gave me a early childhood flashback. I had an empty container to play with. Maybe my mom used it before on a bum rash as well?? I have no clue. Are they still blue?

Don't worry too much about being a bad mom for Lucas. You'll find a new balance, I am sure. You all need to adjust to the change in your family now.

Take care!

Allie said...

I didn't find this post boring at all. In fact, I could relate so much to it. I understand so well your feelings that you are having with trying to balance your time with Lucas and with the demands that are required with feeding the new one. I felt the exact same way just after having my daughter. It gets better although it is hard to hear that from others.

Glad to hear that the breastfeeding is going better. Breastfeeding is rewarding but it is also tough so hopefully things will continue to work for you and the little man.

As far as butt rashes go, we always mixed a tub of diaper cream with regular Vaseline and spooned it on (about a good 1 - 2 cm thick) at every diaper change. And during that time, it is a pain and all, but we never used diaper wipes but instead just cleaned by gently dabbing with warm wash cloths. The rash(es) for us, always disappeared within two days.

I love the pictures too Jenn. You have very beautiful young men.

Jenn said...

Thank goodness for lactation consultants!
Adjusting to life with two children will take time but before you know it you won't even remember what life was like with only one. Just take things one day at a time.
I have found Sudocrem to be the best for diaper rashes with my kids. After one application I can see a difference.