This morning I registered Nathan for kindergarten and I'm feeling a bit sad about it. There is part of me (not sure how big) that is not ready to leave this 0-5 age stage of life. Soon my kids will both be in school full time and they won't be spending more days with mom then with others. There are lots of things going through my head, like maybe I shouldn't have worked so much these last couple of years or maybe we should have another baby so these years aren't over. I love being a mom. I saw a friend of mine yesterday and she is just about to have a baby. There was part of me that was envious of her, just starting and there was another part that wouldn't want to go through all of that again.
There is also part of me that loves that the kids are growing up and becoming more fun and more able to do stuff. Deena posted on the last blog about how they can't do much outside stuff with a toddler in the winter, and that's so true, we didn't either. But now that Lucas and Nathan can do up their own seatbelts and brush their own teeth and wipe their own bums we are out of hard stage.
Plus when they get a bit older I get more time to myself again. When making plans for Nathan next year my neighboor who is going to take him (and takes Lucas) after school was hoping he would have afternoon kindergarten as the other kid she has is just there in the mornings, then she would have afternoons to herself. She felt selfish saying it, but it's true. Those first 0-5 years are filled with giving of yourself and giving and giving. It's nice that when they are in school you have some time back to yourself again.
I guess that is what life is, a bunch of stages. Does it ever get easier to move from one to another? Or is it the change that makes is so hard. You get use to what you have and don't want to go into the unknown. Post secondary, marriage, babies, big kids, no kids, retirement... Lots of stages, if you are lucky.....
But I'm having trouble imaging them being away from me so much... I'm not sure about adjusting to this new stage. I wish I could stop time. They are both at really great ages. I guess the key is to just enjoy where I am now. Cherish the moments, play...
Jenn
2 comments:
I imagine I will feel just like you! I think about the moms who work full time and I wonder how they do it. I'm struggling with the if or when we she have another baby
Most of Paul's friends have children between 1 and 7 years of age and some are just gearing up to start their families now. It's so weird for me to be the same age as they are and have an 18 year old but it also reminds me that age is only a number.
You might decide you want more kids now...you might not. You might decide 10 years from now that you want another one...and if that's the case, go for it! There certainly aren't any guidelines for how many kids you have...and when you have them.
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