Expectations

Well the weekend is over again. Time spent with Darryl seems to go quite quickly. I guess the saying true, time flies when you're having fun.

So last night Lucas did not want to go to bed. I 'm wondering if he was having some issues with seperation anxiety, either that or teething. About half and hour after going down he was up for 2 1/2 hours. Eventually he fell asleep again on my lap. While he was laying there I was thinking about this blog and the way I've been feeling about Lucas lately.

I'll start from the beginning. Last week I had my friend and neighboor Kelly over. We were talking about different expectations we had when it came to changes in life. For example getting married. When I got married I remember one older lady said I could quit my job now and stay at home. I must say I think I had pretty realistic expectations of marriage. It was very similar to before we got married, not too much changed in day to day life. Most of the time it is wonderful, easy and fun. But it does take work to keep it healthy and strong.

Next big event in life where you have expectations is having children. I expected that having kids would be alot of work. One thing I didn't take into account is the ups and downs. I didn't realize it would be so hard in the beginning and so much easier now. I thought the difficulty level would stay the same. But all in all being a mom, and have my year maternity leave has been alot of what I expected.

What has been very different then my expectations is how much I love Lucas. I know people tell you this but I thought it would be the same love as I feel for other people or pets in my life. But it's not. It is not like anything you have ever felt before. It take over your whole body kind of love. It's I'll sit up in this chair all night if that's what you need to sleep kind of love. It's I will do anything for you kind of love. It is certainly not what I expected. And it took time to develop.


Now people will offer to watch Lucas but all I really want to do is be with him. Today I needed to get some vacumming done because Dad is coming to clean the floors. Lucas doesn't like the noise of the vaccum. So I asked my neighboor to watch him for half and hour, but as soon as I was done with the vacumming I went over to get him. Or yesterday Mom and I were going to take Lucas to church. As time grew closer he was not up from his nap. I heard him stirring, just before we were going to leave, so I went into his room to get him and take him with us. I'm sure I sound like a crazy lady, but it true I just love that kid.

Till Tommorrow

Jenn

PS In the picture of Darryl and Lucas they are laying on the bed that Darryl is almost finshed building. Isn't it beautiful? Solid walnut. =)