Elsewhere- Sarah McLachlan

I love Sarah. It's amazing how calming and mellow her songs are. Plus so many of them speak to me. Her song Ice Cream was my wedding song. It does remind me of Darryl everytime I hear it. The other thing that I find amazing about her songs is how they often have very different meanings then what I find in them. For example her song Hold On, really reminds me of moving to Calgary. Even though it's about someone dealing with the death of a spouse. Just the first line. Hold on, Hold on to yourself becuase this is gonna hurt like hell. I guess that is applicable to many situations.

Anyway we have been having some dificulties with Lucas and bedtime, part of the problem is he is loving his mom. Anyway tonight I was taking advantage of my new Tiger OS and playing Sudoku on Dashboard. One of the other "widgets" I have on dashboard is a tool that gives you the lyrics to the song that is playing on your computer at the moment. I had been listening to Elsewhere by Sarah McLachlan. Then Darryl called me in while he was giving Lucas his bottle to grab a spit cloth. The moment Lucas saw me he got upset and I ended up doing the rest of the bedtime routine.

So I take Luke upstairs to bed but he doesn't want to go to sleep right away. As long as I stay in the room he won't scream, so I stay in the room. He's playing with his soothers and his bunny and eventually rolls on his tummy and falls asleep. The whole time I am taking yoga breaths and the song "Elsewhere" is going through my head.

I love the time and in between
The calm inside me
In the space where I can breathe
I believe there is a
Distance I have wandered
To touch upon the years of
Reaching out and reaching in
Holding out holding in

I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I’ll defend it as long as I can be
Left here to linger in silence
If I choose to
Would you try to understand

I know this love is passing time
Passing through like liquid
I am drunk in my desire...
But I love the way you smile at me
I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near...
I believe...

I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I’ll defend it as long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
If I choose to
Would you try to understand

Oh the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free
The mold that clings like desperation
Mother can’t you see I’ve got
To live my life the way I feel is right for me
Might not be right for you but it’s right for me...
I believe...

I believe
This is heaven to no one else but me
And I’ll defend it as long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
If I choose to
Would you try to understand it

I would like to linger here in silence
If I choose to
Would you understand it
Would you try to understand...

The song is actually about being a teenager, but I felt so in the moment while upstairs breathing with Lucas.

Till Tommorrow

Jenn